Just this morning i talked about there is something beautiful in today in the poem - The Gift of Today and what my sheer luck is! Can't seem to fathom at the turn of events. If there is one thing that's huge next to love is - trust. Every relationship is based on trust. We move on with it, live with it and literally sleep with it. Trust is something that makes us sensitive and thus, human.
But what if the same trust is broken by someone you love? Or, you thought you did. i don't believe in the notion that only blood relations are trustworthy. People who happen to be called your relatives can be trustworthy too. They too can make up for the empty spaces of a few precious relationships that you crave for, long for. You open up your heart and welcome the person thinking s/he is right for you and certainly understands your emotions and reciprocates them. The person appears to be trustworthy. Family. Friend. Big sister. Big brother. Cousin. The person seems everything that you have always craved for and you are just happy to adjust some space in your life to accommodate those sudden sprouted warm feelings. And for a long time you continue, no, you choose to live in a daze that your decision is right. That the person you have chosen to trust is worth your time and energy and those laughter bouts and personal thing sharing. Everything just seems good and perfect! Nothing was supposed to go wrong. But at the end, it did. The gift or the present can be so full of surprises.
It even pains writing about it. The person whom i trusted so much in my life, who filled a space i never expected to be filled, who appeared family has finally showed that no. Relatives are meant only to be relatives. They can not and never fill the space you want. They always want what they want. It is always about them. It was never about you. It hurts so much right at this moment. i am not angry. i am more about sadness right now. And disappointment. i just can't seem to stop thinking how did this happen? Why i never saw the signs? Will i ever be able to trust anyone the same again? No. That's for sure. But moreover, why had i been so stupid?
It feels as if trust has become a highlighted issue lately. But i am not worried about myself much. i am just thinking about my parents, about how they must be feeling right now, how they are supposed to get over with all this back attack. i don't pray anything for myself. i am, in fact, lucky to learn such a tough lesson so early in my life but my parents? They are so hurt and shocked. So i pray for them, to stop life giving them anymore surprises. Probably this is all a concerned daughter can do at this moment.